What is the difference?

Well, let me tell you the difference! People keep saying to me.."you are almost like a single parent." ALMOST? I am a single parent! I am also a military wife! The two together makes life much trickier! The difference between one and the other?

I don't get to choose where I live. How does this affect me and my children? Well, for starters, my ability to earn an income and be selective about the type of work I do is non existent. Would I choose to live in Tennessee and provide mental health services? Not a chance!! Trust me the south is not known for it's ability to treat behavioral health issues. Not to mention, I could make the same pay at the local grocery store being a clerk that I can make with a Masters Degree! Like I said before, I don't do it for the money..especially not here!

As a single parent I could make a decision where to go and then stay there for the rest of my life. As a military wife, I could move again tomorrow. I have no stability! Even as a single parent, I would have some control over what I am doing.

Here is the big one! How do you think it works each and every time he does come home. After 6 months or a year or even 3 weeks? Talk about an adjustment. As a single parent, I could protect my children from how another person would affect their life. As a military wife, they just have to go through the adjustment with me. We get into a routine and find a way to make things work only to have it turned around in a flash. I correct the children and have expectations that they adjust to. And then....here comes dad...he is trying to find where he fits in and wow...the fireworks begin....He wants to parent. I want him not to parent. Then on the other hand, dad is all fun and games...and then I am the kill joy! To even attempt to balance the situation is ridiculous.

As a military wife, there is no control of any aspect of your life. As a single parent, I could make more stable choices. I could be in control and provide consistency. Expectations could still be set.
However, I am a MILITARY WIFE and a single parent so I live with my choices and I try to provide the best that I can. It is like a never ending roller coaster! There are highs and lows and times when you just want to vomit...but you keep in going....someday the ride will be over!! I just keep telling myself that..


I don't want to complain but, as we grow, we learn how our choices have shaped who we become. Did I think about these issues when I was 19 and got married to a soldier! No Way!! I was out exploring the world and having a great time! Could I forsee where I was headed? I think I put the blinders on..they served a purpose at the time. Now I say? What in the world was I thinking?....maybe I wasn't!

You know, I wonder what kind of roller coaster it will be when we actually do retire and the military is not such a big part of our lives. Do you think I will miss it?